My Little Girl is Sick

When I put Peanut to bed last night she was sad. She had the sniffles. Her stuffed up nose was making it hard for her to breathe. She spent the whole night tossing and turning.

I suppose this was inevitable. Buddy, my youngest son, has been ill and was home sick from school Monday. Of course he was going to spread his awful contagion to the rest of us. I just hoped Peanut would be magically immune.

This morning, after a terrible nights sleep, she woke up boiling like a furnace working overtime (Really she’s just 100° F.). She was coughing and sneezing. Her sniffles produced this horrible goo running down her lips.

I fell terrible for her. All she wants to do is sit with her daddy. Oh, and she wants me to play with her toys. She is actually in good spirits. She ate, had her formula, and is sleeping restfully right now.

Babies get sick. I do understand this. We had a wonderful run of luck though. She hadn’t been sick yet. Both of my sons had been sick by six months. Peanut made it to eight months.

She’s in for a long run of nasty bugs. My boys both went through it as they grew into and through toddlerhood . As she is exposed to other children they pass on their nasty little germs. When she starts school the flu will run through her class.

She and my boys are lucky. They won’t get chicken pox. The vaccine has kept both of my sons from getting it. I assume it will be as effective with her. When I was little we all got it. A select few kids slipped through to adulthood without getting it. They face a precarious situation if they do contract it.

I got it in third grade. At first it seemed great. You get to stay home from school for at least three days. In actuality it was distinctly unpleasant. It was several long days of feeling itchy, itching, and getting scolded for itching.

I would have preferred she not get sick though. Its miserable enough to sick when your fully grown and understand what is wrong. When your little you have no idea what is wrong. All you know is that you don’t feel well.

Peanut certainly doesn’t feel well. I’m not worried. She’ll be better and up to mischief again in no time.

Baby’s Other Annoying New Habit

Last week I informed you about Peanut’s terribly cute and annoying habit of snorting at me. As I pointed out she utilizes this tool to get my attention when she is displeased with the current situation.

Building on this she has found a new way to get her sap daddy’s attention. Babies need to take naps, lots of them. Usually when your baby is tuckered out you can put her down to sleep with minimum fuss.

However, I have heard terrible stories about babies who have trouble falling asleep. Of course, there are always times when she is simply over tired or grumpy and has difficulty sleeping.

Generally Peanut has been the best baby a parent could hope for. When she starts rubbing her eyes I know its time to put her down for a rest.

But recently she has decided, about every third nap or so, that sleeping isn't on the agenda. In this case she starts crying. Now some times babies need to cry a little before they fall asleep. Our parenting book, “What to Expect” says you should let them cry for a few minutes, ten max, before picking them up.

Peanut, however, isn’t really crying. You see, she has learned to “fake cry.” When she doesn’t want to sleep she starts her pretend crying. I know she is not really upset because the tone is different from the tone when she is hurt (Bopped in the head by her own toy), scared (Not sure why but she gets spooked), or overtired (This one sounds like a cat being strangled).

What she has figured out is that her sap of a dad will come running when she cries. I’d have to bee a real curmudgeon to ignore a little girl crying. So when I come running over to her she looks at me and smiles and laughs. It is all very hilarious to her. Sometimes she’ll do this two or three times before she gets bored. I don’t pick her up after all. I just smile back and go about my work.

A few days ago I decided to break her of this awful habit. When Peanut began her routine I peeked in at her. She couldn’t see me. She stopped and then cried again. For some reason, her tactic having failed, she began bawling. The type that suggested she was spooked. Probably since she thought sap had abandoned her. So I charged in she calmed down and went to sleep.

I find it alarming that she has already contrived ways to get attention from men. She’s only seven months but I’m already terrified of her being sixteen.

That aside, her new habit, while cute, is incredibly annoying. Nothing is worse than putting her down settling in for some task and being interrupted five minutes into it. Nap time is, after all, the biggest chunk of free time for me. Yes there are three of them and yes once she falls asleep I have one to two hours of uninterrupted time. Even though I know it is a hoax it is not worth the risk of ignoring her.

Mostly though, I object to a pretty girl treating me like a chump.

Peanut's Annoying New Habit

Peanut has learned a new trick. It is annoying to say the least. At the same time it is adorable and ridiculous. I first noticed it about a week ago. Not being sure if it was intentional I waited to see if she would repeat it.

As you know I put her down to play with her toys while I work on the computer and do chores. While she will play for a bit by herself she prefers that someone play with her.

So the other day I put her down to play and sat down to type up some work. Peanut decided that she did not want to play by herself. She snorted at me. It was a snort. She made the noise through her nose not her mouth. The sound was very much like one a toddler makes when it wants attention. After all most toddlers act out instead of saying something like, "Yo, pay attention to me."

I was not sure what to make of it. I looked at her and she smiled at me so I resumed my typing. Unhappy with the result she did it again. Taking the hint we played. Then she ate and had a nap.

The next day, under similar circumstances, she did it again. I decides to test whether this was intentional. After looking at her she smiled and I went back to work. Peanut snorted again, several times. I looked at her, she smiled, I went back to work.

She was extremely dissatisfied with this result and proceeded to snort a half dozen times loudly and vigorously. So we played and my work got done while she was napping.

Oddly enough, having learned the value of this technique, she turned it on her mother later that day. Her mother was home from work and enjoying a snack while resting on the couch. Peanut who believes she can and should eat everything the rest of us do decided she wanted to share the snack. So looking at mommy she began snorting away to get attention.

Mommy, who was not aware of this new habit, looked at Peanut shocked and started laughing. It really is adorable after all. But this was not the desired response and was greeted with more snorting until she was picked up. No sharing though I'm afraid.

Since then baby has done this at least once a day when circumstances are not to her liking.

I have tried repeatedly to get a picture of her doing this. However, since her desired result is attention, when you focus on her she smiles. I think she is intentionally thwarting me.

While it is cute it is also terribly annoying. Imagine sitting there trying to type something only to be assaulted by a cavalcade of snorts from your attention hungry baby. It not as if I ignore her. In fact I most certainly do not. But when she sits with me at the computer she insists on banging her little fists on the keyboard. It is great she wants to share stories with the world. Just not in the middle of a file I'm working on.

Next time I'll share with you her other annoying new habit. This one is even worse but it gets her sap of a Daddy to do what she wants.

Peanut's Six Month Old Celebration

Last Friday we had a party for baby. It was to celebrate her having been with us for six months. As anyone who has every cared for a baby knows six months is a long time. It represents at least a thousand diapers. Possibly two or three times that many (Think ten a day, at least, for 180 days). Add all the other inherent duties of a parent and you can imagine that it has been a long six months.


But, I was very excited. The emotion bordered on down right jubilation at having come this far. For my sons we waited until they were a years old to have a party. I have fond memories of my boys sitting in their high chairs trying to eat a small cake that was reserved solely for them. The result in both cases was a terrible mess. Everyone present enjoyed themselves almost as much as the baby.

I didn’t feel that we could wait that long for Peanut. So I devised the plan to celebrate six months of diaper changing fun. My wife, not surprisingly, jumped at the idea. We got her a cake, really just a giant cupcake. After dinner, we had pasta and she had sweet potatoes, everyone gathered round and watched her enjoy her cake.

Even the boys had fun. Though Buddy objects to her being the center of attention (We are working on sibling jealousy but its a tough sell).
Peanut really went at it. It was a little surprising how actively she attempted to devour the cake. Most of it ended up on her, which was also true of my boys at their birthday parties. She gave it an honest attempt though. If she had the control it would have ended up in her tummy.

Afterwards she got a bath and took a nap. My wife and I went over the many pictures I took (Close to fifty). Some of them are really funny. I can tell you that I am very excited at the prospect of her birthday party six months from now. In particular I can not wait to how she handles the cake compared to this party

On the other hand I feel terribly ambivalent. The boys seem somehow cheated since they only got one party their first year. They are too young to remember but it still seems unfair.
I hope you enjoy the pictures as much as Peanut enjoyed the cake.

Baby's First Tooth

Baby’s First Tooth

Peanut has been feverish and grumpy and whiney lately. In short she has been an unhappy baby. It makes me sad to see her so unhappy.

However, the reason has become apparent. Her first tooth is coming out. For the past several days we’ve been fighting and struggling to get her to open her mouth and take a picture of it. It would be really neat to have a picture of her first tooth. It’s one of the bottom teeth in the front, on her left.

My goal has been an abject failure. She moves to fast. The shutter speed on the camera is to slow, even though its pumped up to the highest level. There are any number of reasons to explain the failure to produce a picture of her tooth (The most obvious one being that I am a second rate photographer).

Regardless, the point is moot now. Yesterday I noticed, to mixed feeling of chagrin and excitement, that her second front tooth is also coming in. So much for my spectacular picture.

All of this brings up the fact that teething is an awful experience for both the baby and the parent. Clearly it is more painful for her. But, at the same time, its no cakewalk for me either. There is not much to do but live through it. I’ve talked to several fathers who claim changing diapers is their least favorite thing about babies. I’ll take a stinky overfilled diaper, or ten, over teething any day.

It ranks up there with the first few weeks home after the hospital. She is waking every hour or so to be fed. The crying and whining and lack of sleep is awful.

Almost anything will set Peanut off right now. I peek in her mouth to see her teeth she bawls. I put her down to do some quick chores she cries. I put her in her swing yesterday evening to work on an article. She flipped.

My wife swears by Hyland’s Teething Tablets. Supposedly they relieve the pain from cutting gums. So we pay the outrageous price tag for a bottle smaller than my cell phone. When she takes them they dissolve into white goo. She seems to cry less afterward. Maybe the taste of them distracts her from the pain for a short while.

Peanut now has two pretty white teeth with two on the top about to emerge. They are shiny and bright. Our culture glorifies shiny white pearls. All the superstar actors have them. When they smile its like being caught in head lights. But for the average person its almost unnatural to have such a bright smile at thirty or even forty.

Even with good oral hygiene teeth wear out. Coffee, tobacco, and a host of other things render them dull and lackluster. By forty you’ve had your teeth for almost thirty years. Nothing looks shiny and new after that long.

Of course if you have several thousand dollars you can visit the orthodontist and get a set of caps. Your teeth will look like brand new baby teeth.

I had already thought Peanut’s smile was the prettiest smile by half. Now, when she smiles at me with her shiny new teeth I swear its the best smile in the world. It is warm, endearing, and full of life. People spend a fortune to have her smile. I get it every day for free.

Now I know that my fellow parents out there are thinking that its their baby not mine that has the best smile. Maybe so. Consider each of our perspectives after all. Feel free to share your stories. Either the difficulty of going through teething, for both of you, or you joy at your baby’s new teeth.

I'm a Bad Daddy

So, as it turns out, I’m a monster.

Peanut and I were playing the other day.I had this silly snowman stuffy. It’s a small plush snowman with a red scarf and a red Santa hat with a green puffy ball on the tip. She really likes this guy.

I put her in her Boppy. Then she tries to grab the snowman as I swing it back and forth. She latches on to it and I let go. Then she holds it, wiggles it, or stuffs it in her mouth (Babies will put anything in their mouth no matter how disgusting, including roly-polies , but that a different story).

We had been playing this for a bit (We play every day but not always with the same toy) when she grabbed the thing a put the ball part of the hat in her mouth.

Watching this, musing about how adorable babies are, it stuck me in a terrible flash that the puffy ball is exactly the right size to clog her little throat. This was one of those, “Oh My Lord” type moments. I seized the snowman and immediately disposed of it (By putting it in a box for when she’s bigger). We played some more of course.

But, later when she was napping I took some time to look around our home and apprise myself of the multitude of death traps it contained.

When my wife was nearing the end of her pregnancy it seemed prudent to baby-proof the house. This was not new to me. Our apartment was baby-proofed, constantly, for my first son. It was small and cramped and dangerous things seem to have a habit of appearing near your baby. Its as if the baby is a magnet for everything sharp, pointy, and miniature throat sized.

We moved before my second son was born. I went through the whole process again. Then Peanut came along and I thought I had done a reasonable job of ridding areas she would venture though of hazards. Yet, here I was staring at a vile stuffy designed to harm my angel.

What really got to me were the unlimited phantoms that might be harmful. If you look hard enough everything becomes a potential source of harm to baby. She plays in the same room I work on my computer in. Drop a pencil on the floor? Pick it up right away. Same with an eraser, don’t want her choking. I used to put my cup of coffee on the floor next to my desk. If I wanted some I leaned back picked it up and had a sip.

Not anymore. My wife would never let me hear the end of it if when Peanut starts crawling the first thing she does is help herself to my scalding hot coffee.

Its not like I’m one of those baby-safety alarmists (though I might be). Its simply that everywhere I look I see images of carnage. My wife says I always see the worst in things. Only, its not a compliment when she says it.

Anyway its my responsibility to insure that we aren’t incentivizing boo-boos. I went online to find some websites with suggestions to improve our safety level. Many of them are simply shilling safety products under the guise of being informative. A few don’t even seem to have much to do with child safety.

A couple are rather good though. I particularly like Dr. Baby. I know it sounds kind of blithe. But, it is actually an informative site. I especially like the pictures of toddlers about to engage in various dangerous act. I know they are meant to help you visualize the potential for danger but some of them are quite humorous.

Another neat site is Baby Proofing Faq which was compiled by Sandra Smith. Parents from all over shared various stories of situations their children had gotten into. One guys son actually pulled over their TV and was pinned under it, though he was okay (FAQ # 14).

Another fellow told of a story in the news where a toddler climbed onto a gas range (stovetop), the kind with flat tops. He somehow had managed to turn it on. While standing on it the rubber soles of his shoes melted trapping him to the range. The images this put in my head sent shivers down my spine. I can not imagine coming over to the kitchen to find this happening (FAQ #1).

In all many of the stories are humorous anecdotes suggesting a few adjustments to your home. While some of the steps suggested might be considered overreacting. Being overly safe will keep your baby from chocking, or having a TV fall on them, or perhaps worse.

Those of you who have your own stories of gross, but unintentional, negligence please share. We’ll all get a kick out of it. But we might just learn something to. Nothing too icky if you don’t mind.

Strangers Can Be So Rude

Strangers Can Be So Rude

So I was in the food store the other day. Peanut picks this opportune moment to start bawling. It had been a long day. I know she doesn’t like her car seat. But she is not big enough to be propped up in the front of the cart. I get her out to calm her down, but she is clearly upset.

Now I’m holding and trying to comfort an unhappy baby girl. And I’m trying to keep the cart moving, don’t want to lose the car seat because I’d really be in the soup then. All the while I’ve been trying to get some ice cream to feed my gluttonous sweet tooth.

Then I notice this woman giving me a look. Clearly asking where the baby’s mother is. I have been judged and found wanting in the baby raising department.

It is the kind of look where you are supposed to notice it and accept the rebuke. But not so over the top that you react with, “Yo, whats your problem.” Not that I would do that in front of my little girl.

I have three children and I have been in stores with each of them many times. I’ve gotten this look before. When a baby is with their father and is unruly, or grumpy, or simply tired and irritable it’s his fault. Yet when the mother is the one with the unruly baby other women have looks of sympathy.

This is not true of all women of course. There are a select few who glare at you this way. Others seem bemused that you are even there with the baby. A few even look at the father with sympathy, or possibly empathy.

I’m not the best father in the world, I can admit this. But I can change diapers with the best of them. I wash clothes and make bottles. I can feed her the goo that Gerber calls food. We play together.

I don’t appreciate being judged by strangers in stores. It may be ingrained due to the cultural stereotype that women should raise babies. (I guarantee you I didn’t ask for a lay off when the store I worked for collapsed.) I prefer to be non-confrontational. I have more important things to do than waste time with some goofball.

Most importantly I don’t want her growing up believing that it is the purview of women alone to bear the brunt of childrearing. Some of my fondest memories involve my two boys between the ages of one and two. If she marries and has children I don’t want her husband to shirk chores and joys because of a cultural precept.

Even odder, I think that certain aspects of child-rearing can be very masculine. Men are supposed to like to fix things (problem-solvers or some such). Baby’s got poop. I can fix that. Baby’s hungry. I can fix that. Baby’s sleepy. I can fix that. The tentacle fell off your octopus. I can try to fix that. So if my baby is sad or scared and crying, don’t look at me funny. I can fix this too.

Boppy: Every Baby Needs One

Boppy: Every Baby Needs One

My wife recently informed me that Peanut had to have a Boppy. I mean absolutely unequivocally had to have a Boppy right now. My obvious response was, “I’m watching TV.” After being glared at my second reply was, “What’s a Boppy?” Really, that’s a pretty goofy name. She went on to inform me over the next twenty minutes all about Boppys, thus ruining my show and giving me a headache.

It turns out that Boppys are horseshoe shaped pillows with removable covers (called slipcovers). You have the option of buying the Bare Naked (sic, visit their website) Pillow version. Or you can buy a pillow w/slipcase set. Either way you can then proceed to purchase alternate pattern slipcovers.

Upon learning this I was dumbfounded. I thought to myself, “My God this could cost a fortune.” There were images in my head of my wife coming home with bags literally stuffed with pretty slipcases for every occasion. The covers are reasonably priced, but ten of anything quickly sends reason to the chopping block.

I thought if I just said no that would be the end of this (as if I have any authority). I quickly put that nonsense out of my head and decided I ought to be paying attention. We agreed that she could buy one preferably the set (since that is usually the better deal as it is in this case). If however, they had a slipcover she really liked she could buy them separately.

This is my third baby and I think I’ve gotten used to the weird stuff women buy or babies. Some pretty crazy things have come home in the last ten years. For thirty bucks my wife would be happy and we’d have another thingamajig gathering dust in the corner, or on a shelf taking up much needed space. Whatever, she would be happy. Boy was I wrong. Peanut’s Boppy is fantastic.

The basic purpose of a Boppy is to allow baby to be propped up instead of lying on her back. Babies love this. Peanut really loves this function. We’ve had our pillow over a month now. Everyday I settle her into her Boppy to play with her hanging play sets. The elevation allows her to more easily reach the baubles hanging from the playset’s frame. Despite being unable to sit up herself she can now, while elevated, comfortably reach, hold, and pull on her toys. It has made the play sets a much more enjoyable experience for her.

Another function they push at you is to put your baby on her tummy on the pillow. She can roll over by herself now but lacks the strength and coordination to crawl. When on her tummy on the pillow the heightened level of sight is great. She loves looking around, especially at the dog when it strolls by.

She also likes to use her feet to push her head over the top of the pillow and view the world upside down. She doesn’t seem to hurt her neck. I cannot fathom why she enjoys looking at things upside down though.

Another use is to put it on your lap, put baby and top of it, and feed her. I’ve noticed that after she eats and burps if I rest her on the pillow she tends to spit up less (advertised right on the packaging and surprisingly true). You can also use it to rest your laptop on (not a recommended use and don’t let your wife catch you).

Once your baby can sit up, which mine can’t, the Boppy acts as a buffer to both help them stay up and provide a softer landing when they topple over.

We also use it to play peek-a-boo. Put your baby on her back with her head in the center of the pillow. Get down on the floor and peek up over the top at her and go, “Boo.” Repeat. Some days this drives her wild. Other days she looks at me as if I’m insane. Be warned, your other kids will snicker at you if they catch you doing this.

If your girlfriend, wife, sister, etc. is going to have a baby get them one of these. Next time your wife has to go to a baby shower check the registry, if there is one. If there is a Boppy on it get it. If there isn’t a Boppy on the list get one anyway, and a smaller selection from the approved list, assuming your not strapped for cash. This gift will go over really well.

Make sure she brings the receipt. If someone else gives the soon-to-be mother a Boppy tell your wife to have her return it and get some extra slipcovers. This will meet with universal agreement. Your wife may not admit it was you who suggested the idea at the party but I guarantee she’ll thank you in her own way.